First of all I have to inform you that I’m not gay or anything. Not that it matters and -oh well- it’s none of your business. And it doesn’t make me like, I don’t know, whatever. But I had a very serious dream two nights back and the sole fact that I’m still thinking about it baffles me and is enough of a reason for me to share it....
What if she rolls a cig for few minutes without a single glance at you and you watch her every move while she does that and then she lights it while looking in your eyes knowing that you’ve been watching her and you feel somewhat guilty but you still look in her eyes in search for forgiveness and you actually find it there? What then, faggot? What if you...
Now here’s a little story for girls. So you’re twenty, you have a partly shaved vagina and you just moved to a bigger city to /TRY TO/ study some university. Your only reason to go to that one was that one of your stupid friends goes there. You will have to work really hard to make it through the first year because you are fucking dumb and you’re not...
I had a beer with a neighbor girl chick female who is really pretty two days back. And also clever and everything. We went to some evening open air party. I know her since elementary school and we always talk about things that happened ten years back or more. I kind of want to fuck her and she knows it, but that’s a whole different story. I told her it would be extremely...
Triptych: The Tale of a Condom
Introduction Few months ago I was at my place with my main chick. The dryer ceased to spin and I thought, why the fuck not, I will take the clothes out so my mother doesn’t have to do it after she returns from work. And also, I will look like a good boy in front of my blonde polish booty and she will want to get a flat with me and shit....
(Written after coming home from a pub, I think.) Few days ago, in a pub where I go often, I saw a pair of meth addicts on a date. The guy was disgusting and by the look on his face you’d guess he was dead. But he wasn’t. He was moving and shit. The slut was still in that phase of meth addiction when she looks quite alright because she has lost some weight (so...
Every hedgehog looks the same. They are seriously just a one fucking hedgehog. Their only impression (and the only reason why people buy them and take pictures of them) is what they do when they’re on their backs, doing this cute ball thing. The need to see it can be satisfied just by looking at a picture of it, I don’t see a reason to buy one. If three people did a...
The Worshipper of Chaos
I had to wake up at seven this morning so I naturally woke up at seven, postponed the alarm to 7:05 and then again to 7:15. Then I went to a toilet to say bye to a ceremony of rancid farts and all the remaining states of shitty matter hidden dwelling in my rectum. I had a slight boner but I ignored it. It was merely like a colorful butterfly whoring for attention. I know it was...
How are some people scared of spiders if they don’t mind various bugs? The first difference that comes to mind is the amount of legs and the ability of making webs. From my experience (I know two adult people that cry when they see a spider), the web itself is only frightening to the studied objects because it implies the presence of a spider somewhere near. On the other side,...
Gypsy Friend, Gypsy Knife, Gypsy Ways
I had a gypsy friend when I was about 10. He gave me a knife. I buried it in the ground so my mom doesn’t find out, but when I returned next day, it was gone. Some homeless existence had to find it. That’s how coincidence protected me from the gypsy ways.
Managing Absolute Sweatpissing Hatred
(Monk-ish theory in practice, by the czech master On-der Fuk Yiou) Why do I have to deal with the most insufferable whorebitchcunt at the uni and why can’t I fucking do anything about it? Her mother’s placenta had to be soaked in ammonia as she is more annoying than your parents making out in front of you during your favorite fucking movie. How does her family just not kill her or...
Does fucking an ugly chick boost your ego, or does it just improve your karma? Because a lot of guys claim that they did it at some point to feel better about themselves (self-esteem issues?). But I don’t really see how that would help you. I would just feel bad about myself. I don’t want to wake up next to a walrus and think YES I’M ONDER THANK ME LATER, have a coffee and write a...
The House of Alcoholic Terror
(Just recycling some old stuff I wrote) So I had a glorious idea. Basically, it’s a pub where low existences like homelesses and gypsies (those dirty ones / racism prevention) can drink alcohol for free. Wait, let me explain the marketing logic. There is a number of those “people” who just beg for money to eventually get a beer anyway, instead of...
My dick is a conceited warrior, but my mind is tired of the uselessness. It’s like my pet and I’m an idiot that is supposed to think of some new fun for it all the time. I throw mental images of cunts and asses at him as some sort of garbage, but I’m not a fucking garbage collector neither I live in a fucking vaginal dump. And it’s not just a fucking frog that will jump out of the...
Ladybug Girlfriend + Basic Facts of Life
So here’s a couple of things I would like to recommend to all the whiny retards we meet daily. How is a blog that nobody reads not the best form? Shut your silly cunt for a while, please, and read forth. Stop complaining about everything you FUCKING SCUM. Apparently people still have hard time coping with the fact that they will get old and die and be fucking...
(Chapter IV. from around 2009 adapted for blog) My eye is killing me. Yesterday I tried to drink beer only using one eye and now it looks like someone tried to fuck me in it. It’s impossible by the way (both things), and the beer had 6,5% alcohol which made me promise some other girls I know that this book is going to be about them in the end. It’s interesting how people...
Fat Sluts and Buses That Carry Them
I know, this is just a summary of what I saw today. Just two fucking fat bitches among the immense fucking amount of bitchery that is all around. But it was just like that. Two fucking vaginas hidden in a fucking universe of fat, that you could never go through, even if you were a fucking sauropod dinosaur with a loli fetish. I saw plenty of those creatures. It...
Look Who‘s Trying Stuff
Aye. I did a trip to my uni campus today. Did I see vaginas? Did bitches occur in metro? Read forth. First of all, I really don’t like the bus/tram stop where I get off the bus. There are homelesses and ugly women. Homelesses feel the need to expose their upper part of greasy, sweaty body because they don’t have anything to change to. They also like drinking cheap...
Theatres and Slow Bartenders Inside
(Written longer time ago, as a part of my unfinished diary-book-stuff, I had to be pretty drunk) I’ve come to a conclusion that I love residential areas for their funcionalist architecure. All those windows and lights that randomly light up at night. I was w/ this gay friend you already know who took me home today and we were driving through those areas of communist rectangle...
A Smelly Alien Hobo
(Written few moments ago, as an actual blog post) I have a fucking hangover. My girl said I can’t drink. I’m a little puppy who can’t drink. I took a tram home and there was a homeless guy inside. He was making loud noises, not similar to anything I heard before. When he first bluurgh’d, I fucking freaked out. Is it a man? Or an alien? He kept repeating „Texas, Texas“. He was...
A Different Look at Anatomy
(Written partially as a RANT on a forum, then completed to serve this purpose) I woke up yesterday at like 4AM and I was like, dude, did I just shit myself? Yes. So yeah, liquid shit in my pants is a sign for me that I am devastated. I drink a lot of shitty beer lately and I should drink less and get my ass back to Prague and finish this summer by passing few exams. Maybe I...
The Hospital Chapel
(This was supposedly a second chapter of my book titled “It‘s Better To Be Worse”, written some 20 months ago) That last paragraph sounds like shit. Sounds like some nihilistic complains, which is an oxymoron of some kind n’est pas? It would be enjoyable to catch a kid saying how nihilistic he is and tie him up and cut him w/ paper until he admits wanting a big house...